Post # 238 Peanut Butter Is Awful!

April 9, 2014 at 5:28 PM | Posted in Uncategorized | 8 Comments

I’ve mentioned it before, but it bears repeating.  Peanut Butter is awful stuff.  I don’t like the smell.  I don’t like the taste.  I don’t like the feel of it.  It clings to things and won’t wash off.  It dries to the consistency of cement.  If it does wash off, the scent lingers.  It’s the American version of Vegemite (google it.)  Terrible stuff.

I didn’t always feel that way, and still don’t in a very few, select cases.  When I was a child (back in the caveman days, admittedly) I ate peanut butter right off a spoon.  Making peanut butter crackers was a huge treat.  There was a candy at the time that was basically a peanut butter flavored taffy called Mary Janes.  I’d eat that stuff stale and hard.  I used to make chocolate chip cookies and substitute peanut butter for the regular butter.  PBJs were my favorite sandwich of all time.  Oddly, they still are, but have to be made in a very specific way or I won’t eat ’em.

peanut butter candy

I don’t know exactly when it happened, but I stopped eating peanut butter and for a long time, I didn’t have it at all.  When I went back to it, the smell repulsed me.  I tasted it and wondered if it had always tasted like that.  I went through a few brands to see if they all tasted like that.  They did.  Just a case of tastes changing as you age.   I like onions and potatoes now, and didn’t like them as a kid.

I know people, children and adults, who live off peanut butter.  When I was traveling for work, one topic of conversation that constantly came up was foods to take with you.  When you’re in a foreign land, and you’re hungry, it’s not always as easy as going to McDonald’s (although that has changed a LOT) so you pack some food with you to have as an emergency stash.  I usually brought energy bars, you know the type, and kept a couple in my backpack at all times.  Once, I brought five pounds of M&Ms and ended up giving them to the staff I was training cuz I got sick of them.  The overall winner of the popularity contest was peanut butter and crackers.  It seemed like everyone but me was bringing that stuff.

Having said that, there are some things I do like peanut butter in.  I like Reece’s Cups.  Peanut butter and chocolate make a fine combination.  But I don’t like all peanut butter and chocolate.  Ever seen these?


They’re called Buckeyes because they look a little bit like the nut native to Ohio.  Basically, they’re just peanut butter balls that have been partially dipped in chocolate.  It’s a whole lot of peanut butter and not enough chocolate for my taste.  My mom used go nuts over these things.  Reece’s Cups are the perfect blend of flavors.  Reece’s Pieces, not so much.  Don’t like those at all.  Peanut Butter fudge?  You eat it, cuz I’m not gonna.  Butterfinger candy bar?  Yeah, I’m all over those.

PBJs are excellent eating, too.  Many times, when I’m not feeling like cooking, I’m eating PBJs.  But it’s a very specific sandwich, let me tell you.  First, it has to be a very good bread, not “slimy white slices” as my friends, The Two Fat Ladies, used to say.  The peanut butter must be room temperature and easily spreadable.  (Oh, and peanut butter on toast?  Get that junk away from me.)  The only jelly I want is grape, and it’s not really jelly, it’s jam.  When people ask you what the difference is (and they will), just tell them that jam as more fruit to sugar.  It tastes better.  But for me, the grape jam must be icy cold.  And the proportions must be just right.  Can’t have too much jam or too much peanut butter or the flavor is overpowered by one or the other.  No one makes a PBJ for me anymore.  But two of those with a glass of water, or soda, or lemonade is one of the best meals ever.


So what’s the purpose of this post other than to rag on peanut butter?  Well, one of the things I like to do is get kids involved in cooking and one of the easiest ways to do that is to start them off by making cookies.  Kids like to feel special and to feel like they’ve accomplished something.  Years ago, someone gave me a recipe for kids that fit that bill perfectly.  It’s the Kid Friendly Peanut Butter Cookie.  You, the adult, must be with the kid since the oven will be involved, but it’s so easy anyone can do it.  It’s four ingredients, one bowl, one cookie sheet, and a few implements.

  • 1/2 cup of peanut butter (creamy or crunchy or extra crunchy, doesn’t matter)
  • 1 1/4 cup sugar, separated into one cup and one quarter cup
  • 1 egg
  • 1/2 cup flour

Using a strong spoon, combine 1/2 cup peanut butter and 1 cup sugar until well blended.  Add the egg and mix well.  Carefully stir in the 1/2 cup of flour until there are no lumps.  Divide the dough into twelve equal parts and place on a cookie sheet that’s been sprayed with cooking spray.  Dip a fork into the 1/4 cup of sugar and flatten the dough into cookies about a 1/4 inch thick, moving the fork around to create a waffle pattern on the top of the cookie.  Sprinkle the cookies with any remaining sugar.  Bake at 325 for 10-15 minutes, until the cookies are golden but not burnt.  The cookies will rise, but flatten as they cool.  Remove and cool completely.  Then eat.


Well, as always, it’s been fun!  Enjoy!

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